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Taking a break

Long term relationships are so much different that dating on so many levels. They have higher expectations, takes a great deal more to maintain and at the same time elicit deeper emotions. It’s a gift and unfortunately (do I sense bitterness here?), something that not everybody gets to experience.

 

But long term relationships also have greater risks. Being in each other’s company for a very long time could enhance or else weaken the connection between the two of you. It’s inevitable that one or the other will occur because, how else would it proceed right? So what do you do if your girl suddenly wants to take a break?

Taking a break

 

A lot of relationships go through this phase. The cool off stage. But for those who know how to make it work, it need not be the end. It’s hurtful and disappointing but it’s not the end of the world. There are ways to get her back.

 

You must remember that taking a break doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you anymore. Know the difference between taking a break (Hail to Ross for all the FRIENDS fanatics out there…) and the actual break-up. Breaking up most certainly means that the love she has for you has died but taking a break from you could be due to a lot of different reasons.

 

This is the first thing that you have to find out. The reasons. It’s not rude to ask her for the reasons that she wants to take a break. Explaining oneself is hard so she would want you to make it easier for her. You don’t have to ask her for justifications if you don’t want to hear them but trust me, knowing what the reasons are will greatly help.

 

Why? Because the need for personal space usually stems out from problem’s regarding someone’s personality. About the ways that you do things, the things that you say or how you view everything. Usually from that. So if you know what the reasons are, then you could effectively judge your character long enough to change them.

 

Once you know the reasons, it’s time to think if there is any validity on them. Sometimes, we may think that one thing is good until someone else points out otherwise. So see if changing will indeed be for your benefit or if her demands are just too selfish. If it is irrational, then it may not be worth getting her back after all.

 

But if they are valid, then it’s time to start your personal transformation. Work on improving the problematic aspects of yourself. Use your time apart to develop your personality to be able to be the one that she wants you to be.

 

But don’t be a puppy dog waiting. That’s the total opposite. Try dating other people instead. Breaks are good opportunities to test if there is someone else out there. It will develop a sense of independence in you that your ex may not have enjoyed. It also shows her that you’re capable of being your own person.

 

You gave her the space she wanted so she’ll be thinking that you’re pining away for her. When she sees you with some other woman, it’ll make her feel unwanted. And once she feels that, she’ll start wanting this whole new you that she doesn’t have. So by the time she contacts you again, it will be to get back together. As the saying goes, “always make your absence felt, in such a way that somebody misses you, but let not your absence be so long that somebody starts learning to live without you…”

 

Explore posts in the same categories: Relationship tips for Men, Relationship tips for Women

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 15th, 2007 at 12:35 pm and is filed under Relationship tips for Men, Relationship tips for Women. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments. You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site. Your comments will be moderated but will appear as soon as humanly possible.