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Taking it to the next level

It’s important for any kind of relationship to have some direction. It just doesn’t make any sense if you both know it’s not heading somewhere. So it is vital that you take the relationship to the next level. But when do you do it and how are you going to know if you’re ready?

 

Most people say that it’s time to move out of the dating phase and into the relationship phase once you hit a year. I think it should be sooner. If you read the criteria below you’ll find out why it is better.

 

I think the time for “the talk” should come after six months of dating. Six months with a person gives you enough time to really know their personality. You have enough information to base your decisions on whether you could both be in it for the long run. And if you’re not, it would be much quicker to get over her and to resume looking for the right person. I mean we all want to find “the one” right?

 

So how do you know if you want to take it to the next level or not? Well here are some compatibility questions that could help you decide.

 

One note about them is that they aren’t designed to be asked of your partner only. Make sure you, yourself, can answer them adequately as well.

 

First question you must ask yourselves is that if there is any form of addiction present in the relationship. And I don’t limit that to drugs and alcohol. I mean it’s pretty obvious that you should call it off if your girlfriend is a junkie or an abrasive drunk. But I also mean other kinds of addiction. Addiction to material things for example.

 

The reason for this is to see if she has an increased dependence on some thing. It will be hard to build a steady relationship with someone who isn’t capable of standing on her own. Plus addictions are just destructive. If they want to change, then give them the chance. But do it apart because most of the time, their sense of dependence only shifts to you. So if she recovers on her own, then it’s worth giving the relationship another shot.

 

You could also ask if yourself if you’re both morally harmonious. I mean this in the sense that you compliment each other when it comes to values. Are you deeply religious while she on the other hand is agnostic? Is she rude? Doesn’t she like your best friends? You can only excuse such differences so much but sooner or later, it will take its toll on the relationship. It’s better if you could both reach a compromise regarding these issues while it’s still early in the relationship. Better now than much later.

 

Finally the most important thing is to find out if you both have the same goals. Does she wants kids like you do? Does she want to get married while you on the other hand don’t? These major things. If you’re not, then ask yourselves if you’re willing to consider the possibilities. It doesn’t have to be explicitly answered right away if your goals don’t match, what is important is that you’re both willing to consider it just to make it work.

 

But if she is adamant in her belief and tells you that she will never change her mind about something that you deem important, then it’s time to move on. Because staying with her is just settling.

 

There are a lot of other women out there who might be able to compliment you better. So if you encounter a wall in your relationship that you can’t find a way to work around at, then it’s better for the both of you to consider someone else. Everybody searches for that perfect someone. It is kinder if you give each other that chance rather than stay in a relationship where you both won’t get what you want and dreamt about.

 

 

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This entry was posted on Thursday, October 25th, 2007 at 1:55 pm and is filed under Dating tips for Men, Dating tips for Women. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments. You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site. Your comments will be moderated but will appear as soon as humanly possible.